Getting a Little Squishy

I am getting old. Yes, I admit it.  I am getting a little squishy around the middle and not liking it.  One bit.

But, I am digging this season of life- the Empty Nest.  More time for things I choose.  Time with my sweet husband. The joy of relationships with adult children.  A quiet confidence in Who I am in Christ.  A faith built on years of seeing a faithful God.

But there is some Change going on, and I never have liked change. But change is always coming.

Like endless waves, washing in and pulling out.  Brown hair turning to Frosted.  Tight skin turning a little saggy-baggy.  A little more tired.  A few more wrinkles.  A little less limber.  Parts not working so well anymore.  Ahhh.

Even when the boys were young, I strained and stressed over change and the changing of their seasons.  Sometimes even missing the joy of the moment.  Babies-to toddlers-to preschoolers-to elementary….all the way to high school and off to college!  ChAnGe!

Craig would tell me, “Honey, this is the life!” when I would grumble and complain and fret about the little things or the seasons changing.  Those changes seemed like such BIG THINGS BACK THEN.  Now I see.

My body is changing, and there are things I can’t do as well as I used to do, like trying to stay up till 1:00 am and not be busted the next day.    But I know now that nothing good happens after midnight, just like my mom said to me, and  then I said to my kids.  Now though, I believe it!  (That is a great line, by the way, to tell your teenagers when you discuss curfew!)

I do trust Him more today and believe His promises better today.  I embrace the moments and slow down.  I see what matters and what to blow off.  I go back to the truth that I know.  Over and over again.

I am getting a “little squishy” as my friend coined the softening around the middle,  but I love being me.  At this age.  I have relationships that span decades of knowing.  And even in the knowing, they still love me.   Who wants to go back in time to 20 years old?  I love being me.  It was great then, believe me, but it is great now, too.

I love that I am about to celebrate 28 years of marriage.  To the same man.  And all that that means- the thrills and laughter and joys and the real knowing of someone after so many hours and days spent together.  Beauty.  I don’t want to go back to the beginning there.  This time is too rich.

So getting old is a bummer when the squishy starts and the period won’t stop.  The bladder doesn’t work as well and the skin is dry.  The bones get weak and the hearing gets fainter.

But the question for me is: Do I look at these things that are fading or at the beauty around me? Do I thank Him for all that He is working around me or do I look at me?  Am I asking Him to give me eyes to see all that He is doing around me or are my eyes sad about growing old?

Do I see the cardinal that comes every morning to my feeder- a bright flash of red at the window?cardinal

Am I enjoying the robin who hides in the tree outside my window, plump and ready for Spring?

Robin

Am I really seeing the Dogwoods outside the breakfast window, round balls about ready to pop open with creamy faces?

What about The College Boy who comes home to surprise me? Am I relishing that? Yes, I did, I am happy to report. (We caught up on Downton Abbey and ate homemade fried chicken.)

Am I relaxing with the moms who bring me three bunches of flowers and a meal to boot as we celebrate and discover what real hospitality looks like.IMG_2236

Do I take note of the friend who calls to laugh and talk?

 So many blessing in this season of life.  So much to see when my eyes get off of me and my squishy and onto the faithfulness of my God. 

 I am walking deeper and more fully than I ever have, and I am embracing this getting old. Really.

I am seeing what really matters and I am letting the rest go.  I am asking Jesus to help me depend on Him daily, desperately.

And I am loved.

Loved by a Jesus who wraps His arms around my squishy waist and looks me in the eyes and says,

Daughter, You Are Loved.

What are you seeing? How are you looking out at what God has given you? Today’s SURSEE  is to  See all that He is doing around you and receive your aging.  Let’s encourage each other in this, gals.  We need each other to say, Embrace. Enjoy. Live each season as the gift that He has given you.

Will you do that today?  Will you help me to remember to do that? xoxo

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. I Thessalonians 5:18

 

Comments

  1. Oh Leslie…this is SOOO good. I can just hear your heart throughout all of this. So thankful for this season for you and the joy you are finding in embracing His love for you. That is such an encouragement to so many of us who are so easily caught up in the doing and going instead of the being and living. Just loved it, thank you!

  2. Jen Walker says:

    Leslie, this reminded me of a funny conversation I had with a girlfriend and Richard, before we were married. I said that I had read that women were made with a layer of fat under our skin that makes us soft. I said, “God makes us soft and squishy!” My friend thought that sounded terrible and Richard just laughed at my goofiness! So you’re not getting squishy…God just gave us all that little extra softness for our hubbies! ;o)

Leave a Comment

*