Two Words that Help any Conversation

be curious

In our society today, we are not very civil in our conversations.  If I have a different idea or opinion from you, I shudder to express it.  We struggle listening and hearing what the other is saying.

A friend shared with me the other day what another friend shared with her about how to handle a difficult conversation using two words.

Now you don’t actually use these words, you think them in your head.   When someone is dumping their diatribe on you or expressing an opinion that might not match yours you think:

BE CURIOUS

What,  you might ask, do I mean?   When you are in a conversation, I want you to remember to BE CURIOUS.  When I am curious or even say, “Tell me more about that”, my face doesn’t look shocked or anguished or mad-mad.  Instead I have an open, questioning, friendly look on my face.

When we are curious, we are open to listening and finding out more.  We aren’t usually trying to think of what we are going to say to rebut the argument or thought.

When we are curious, our faces say, tell me more.  We think of questions to ask and we lean into the conversation.

I am trying this now when I get into a difficult conversation where I might not agree or where I don’t know what to say.

I think, Be Curious, Leslie.

I think just those two words make all the difference in how I listen and respond.

I also see how this could help when talking to our kids.

Be Curious, Mom.  Be Curious, Dad.  

Your teenager has all kinds of ideas in his head  and when we have the look of curiosity on our face, I think more words will be spoken and conversations will happen.  The mantra, Be Curious helps me to listen well.

So where can you be curious today?  With whom do you need to adopt a look of curiosity on your face and remind yourself in your head to

Be Curious.

Do tell.

 

 

 

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